At times I do wonder who am I and why am I being born into this world and before this where am I, who am I as well? The feeling is just so strange, why do I have the feeling of “myself”, why I am who I am, why can’t I become another person? These are the questions that I keep asking myself since young.
When I was young, I want to grow up soonest possible and guess what? The nature, the God heard me, so they accelerate my life, with just a blink of my eyes, I was at the age of 21. Woohoo!!!… The era for 1980s babies has just started, this is our world and we were going to rule it. I was so happy because once I started to work, I can buy whatever I want and I was so free, I like the freedom and I really like it.
While enjoying the freedom given by my parents and the nature, while I was enjoying the fun time being young, I didn’t realize that I have reached at the age of 25. I was like oh gosh… can I step on the brake and stop there that I never grow further. There is no stop in life and time, everything just move as fast as it could, I don’t even have the time to catch my breathe. I started to realize that I haven’t have enough fun yet and I was at the age of 29 already. OMG… I was finding all these years, finding the brake for my life but I couldn’t find one. Does it really exist?
When I was 29, I really can’t imagine how’s the world of age 30s looks like, what should I do before entering another decade. I did cry at night, I hate myself I hate everything around me and the world, time is the most cruel thing around me, it never stop regardless how hard I pray for. God never heard me from here anymore. Ya, I still can’t accept myself stepping into a new decade.
Finally, I reached the 30th year in my life, wow… amazing, I just can’t believe it that I have been living on earth for such a long time. When people around me start asking what’s my new year resolution, I don’t know how to answer as I really don’t have one all these years and never think of setting one as well. By the time, I know what should I set for my new year resolution, I turned 31.
Now while I am composing this blog, 32 is just around the corner and waiting for me. Sigh… why would my birthdate is at the beginning of the year? Why on earth it is not at the end of the year? Last time I felt proud that my birthdate is early because I can have the privilege to get a driving license first while my fellow friends are still waiting for it.
Well… while life is still going which I can’t push at the brake to stop it, I just have to slowly accept the fact, work hard and enjoy harder too. Life goes on…
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